It's Time to Talk

Are you an "askable" parent?

If the thought of talking to your kids about sex makes you cringe, let North Star help.

Why Talk?

It's estimated that fewer than 15% of children receive a meaningful sex education from their parents.  So where are most kids getting their information about sex?  The media and their friends.  Is this how you want your kids to learn about sex, values and expectations?  They should learn from you.

 It's really your responsibility.

It's difficult to start a dialogue with your child unless there's a family history of talking with each other.  So, begin soon.  Few topics are more important, yet as uncomfortable for us to talk about, than human sexuality.

Talking with your kids can help them understand the situations they will face in the future.  Parents are the most important people to help their kids understand their sexuality and make wiser and more responsible decisions.

Don't worry that talking about sex will automatically make a child go out and have sex.  Talking about sex with your child will help them to better handle the confusing and conflicting feelings brought about by their emerging sexuality.  In homes that have open and honest conversations about sex, most young people tend to behave more responsibly and they are more likely to turn to their parents when they need help or information.

And don't forget about using teachable moments.  Use song lyrics, advertisements, movies and television shows as springboards for opening dialogue and having meaningful conversations.

Get Ready…Set…Go

Tell it like it is.  Avoid fables, vague explanations, and untruths when talking about conception or birth.

Talk about humans.  Talking only about animals when your child wants to know about people is confusing.

Listen to your child.  When your child approaches you with a question or concern, stop and listen.  Hold your own immediate reaction (shock, advice or solutions) while you explore what he/she is trying to say.

Give simple explanations.  Use appropriate names for parts of the body and body functions.  Children need a language to use when talking about their feelings, ideas and concerns.

Show your interest.  If possible, stop what you're doing, move toward the child, and move to his/her level.

Be patient.  Expect the same questions and concerns to resurface.  Children have difficulty grasping some information.  They often need repeated assurance about the changes they are going through.

Get to know your child's environment.  Current jokes, the TV and news programs they're watching, their music…these will provide unlimited opportunities to discuss sexuality issues.

Introduce the topic.  Bring up issues from time to time to give the message that you are interested in discussing sexuality.  Your child may put you off…but that doesn't necessarily mean he/she knows it all or doesn't want to talk.

Keep the door open.  Let your child know that you are available for other conversations or questions about sexuality.